Halloween Hijinx!
As I did last year with my creature feature, I decided to watch some horror movies to get me in the mood for All Hallows Eve.
It's the American Way.
This Week's Watches
Creepshow 2
Starring: Lois Chiles, George Kennedy and some random actors you probably don’t recognise
Directed by: Michael Gornick
Rating: ★★½
You might be wondering why I have chosen to review the sequel to the horror-comedy anthology than the original itself. Sure, Creepshow is directed by lots of famous horror film directors and is full of famous faces and was critically successful. But ultimately, I don’t like it. The stories are pretty dry, and it isn’t either scary or funny. It’s incredibly overrated.
The sequel on the other hand, consists of three much more interesting stories: one that is terrifying, one that is sentimentally stupid, and one that is so over the top and badly acted that it is unintentionally hilarious.
If a scalping wooden statue doesn’t float your boat, then The Raft will, as it is clearly the most unsettling, disturbing and horrifying section of the entire film. Even if you only watch Creepshow 2 just for this, it will be worth it. It’ll shit you up.
Then, once that finishes, we get a good laugh at the expense of a demented Bond Girl and a Hitch-hiker that will do anything for a lift home. Anything.
You may never have heard of it before, and it is quite hard to find, but if you can, give Creepshow 2 a goosey goosey gander.
Colin
Starring: Alastair Kirton
Directed by: Marc Price
Rating: ★★
Famous for being filmed on a shoestring budget of £45, Colin is a zombie movie told from the zombie’s perspective.
Hard core horror fans would appreciate it for its visceral effects, dark plot twists and disturbing content. Overall, it is very effective at being interesting and unsettling, and for a homemade film, has good effects and an intriguing premise.
Even though the gore level is spectacularly high, maybe even too high, Colin is quite boring, as it isn’t entirely successful at being involving enough to hold the audience’s attention. But for what it is, it is incredibly impressive, and is still better than most horror films made by massive studios.
The Hole
Starring: Chris Massoglia, Haley Bennett, Nathan Gamble & Teri Polo
Directed by: Joe Dante
Rating: ★½
Joe Dante, famous for horror films and Small Soldiers, decided to direct another spooky film for teenagers- but this time it’s not about critters that spawn off another creature’s back, but a hole.
Literally, a hole.
And it really doesn’t help that this hole isn’t particularly threatening, or scary. Although it is able to make your fears crawl out of it, and kill crazy old men off screen, it doesn’t really do much else.
Perhaps I’m being too harsh- after all, this film is for children. The clown is fairly spooky, and I enjoyed the fact that they the main character’s own fear was believably apt, but ultimately, the film misses too many opportunities to actually be frightening. This is most notable in waste of the abandoned amusement park, and the dull finale, which should have been exciting but isn’t.
The Goosebumps style twist ending is also stupidly obvious.
I did like Nathan Gamble as Lucas- he gives a great performance, but other than that, this is just a bland horror/thriller that has a good premise, but ultimately doesn’t deliver.
The Haunting (1999)
Starring: Lili Taylor, Catherine Zeta-Jones, Liam Neeson & Owen Wilson
Directed by: Jan de Bont
Rating: ★★★
Although critically panned, The Haunting, in this reviewer’s opinion, is still much better than the terrible original.
Not only does it have a ghost, it also has an amazing setting, some great acting and some genuinely chilling moments.
Sure, it isn’t a perfect horror film, it has issues, but it is ultimately incredibly effective at creating a haunted house that is not only scary, but also looks amazing. The supernatural moments might, at times, be a tad over played, but I really like the creepy cherubs and the whiz-band ending.
I also really enjoy the fact that it builds up to something and takes you on a thrilling journey, unlike the wholly boring original. There also isn’t a terrible actress who runs around screaming her head off that makes you want to reach into the screen and slap her.
And let’s not forget that it has Catherine Zeta-Jones in it. And a ghost.
My Pick of the Week
The Clinic (2010)
Cara Beth is smoking hot, and even though she was the reason why I watched it, I’m glad that I did, because it really is a fraught film that ratchets up the tension. Both Bethell and Spartacus star Whitfield give good performances, and make the movie all the more watchable.
Starring: Tabrett Bethell & Andy Whitfield
Directed by: James Rabbitts
Rating: ★★★★
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| What exactly is going on in The Clinic? |
The Clinic has to be one of the most disturbing, unsettlingly and original horror films I have ever seen. And I loved it.
Even though the premise is incredibly vile and viscerally upsetting, it works as both as horror, a thriller and mystery: and is completely unpredictable.
The story, about Beth (Bethell), a young pregnant woman who is kidnapped and woken up in an abandoned warehouse to discover that her baby has been forcibly removed via C-section, is troubling. But what is slowly unveiled throughout the course of the film is even more shocking, and without ruining the movie, let’s just say that people will do anything to get their babies back… anything.
The Clinic is very twisted, but because it isn’t afraid to take things to the next level, it makes for a very exciting and traumatising watch. The gore level isn’t too high, but the grisly subject matter and dark tone creates a psychological frightening atmosphere that is very chilling.
The Clinic is definitely not a happy film, but it is incredibly distressing and horrifying, and because both the viewer and the character are thrown into such a troubling situation, a happy ending is warranted. But will they get one? Speaking about the ending, I thought it was absolutely excellent, mainly because it was so unpredictable and so much is on the line that I was literally screaming at the screen!
For people who can handle womb-ripping experience, The Clinic is for you. Australian cinema clearly isn’t afraid to take risks, and even though this film won’t be many people’s cup of tea, I really enjoyed it, and highly recommended it for Halloween viewing.
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